Of course, he understands that she is just trying to show him a better way forward but this becomes irritating at times. Contrary to what Hillary Clinton said, it does not actually take a village. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. Read on as we explore the issue of sons who mistreat their mothers, why sons behave this way, what it does to their mothers, and what mothers can do about it. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. If youre a son and your mother is physically or mentally abusive, this can have a huge impact on your life. Here are some types of dysfunctional mother-son relationships: The Oedipal mother-son relationship is one in which the son perceives his mother as a sexual rival. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? Its important to talk to him about his past experiences and help him process them in a healthy way. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. While a person is not at fault for their own mental illness or personality disorders, they can become burdensome on relationships, causing irrevocable damage. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. Some adult children deliberately abuse their parents and, if that is the case, then you should avoid this step. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. Therapy can be a great tool to help work through issues and get to the root of the problem. Males in particular have a higher rate of diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder than females.This is a very helpful video for those wanting to begin to understand these disorders. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. Other times, a son might act out because he wants attention from his mother. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. Step 1. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. Parenting Tips Usman Akram-January 6, 2021. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. This is one of the most important things you can do for your son. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. There are unhealthy mother-son relationships where the mother will replace the relationship she should have with her partner for an emotional one of the same kind with her son. She takes unwelcome liberties in her sons relationships. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. This will also teach him how to make good choices and give him confidence in his abilities as well as his independence from you. Its important to note that mothers are not always aware of their own abusive tendencies, so be sure to speak up if shes being cruel or neglectful. If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them. Instead it takes two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father. You can also suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may be the best route for him to take. One study detailed the importance of coping strategies for mothers of adult sons with mental illness/disability. One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. As a result, the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. Communication is the backbone of any relationship, and that means talking and listening. I have tried it all, name it. Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. He may also feel that she is too controlling in how she handles his life, which can make him feel suffocated by his mother. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. It may also damage his relationships with other women. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, Avoidance and detachment in relationships, Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life. What does this constant meddling say about sons who hate their mothers? This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. Hell learn more from making mistakes than he will from being coddled by his mother! Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. Anger. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. If a mother constantly questions her sons abilities, it can cause a lot of resentment in the relationship. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. Its difficult to say why some sons are mean to their mothers. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. The key to a healthy mother-son relationship is communication. This reason is related to #2. Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. They are toxic people and you can't change them. For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! This means that she looks to him to make her feel good about herself and she bases her own self-esteem on his approval. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. Their mothers try to control them too much. We laugh at the comical show, Everybody Loves Raymond, about Ray Barone and his dysfunctional family, but in reality, this overbearing mother and co-dependent son is no laughing matter. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. Dr.Timothy Legg says that if youre not willing to sacrifice the relationship, then you must modify your behavior in relation to the behavior of the person with NPD. And to do this successfully usually requires regular and consistent therapy involving all stakeholders, if possible: the son, the mother, and the father. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. It is no secret that the relationship between a mother and her son is an important one. I have identified five types of difficult mother: controlling, angry, narcissistic, envious and emotionally unavailable though most difficult mothers may display all traits to a greater or. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. In some cases, this behavior may be a cry for help. Some sons are jealous of their mothers relationship with their spouse. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. This could be because the mother cheated on her husband or because she remarried and her new partner adopted or had another child. This can lead to anxiety and feeling suffocated by the relationship. If a mother cannot let her son live his own life and continues to stick her nose in where it does not belong, a hateful son may distance himself from her permanently. A mother who crosses boundaries will inevitably have a son who will grow up to cut off contact with her. This can put a lot of pressure on him and ultimately lead to resentment. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. The narcissistic mother will often start out by idealizing her son and putting him on a pedestalalmost like a display object. 6. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. 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